“Troubled Teens” Boarding Schools– Finding & Evaluating
Is it time to try a “Troubled Teens” Boarding School?
As children become teenagers, lots of things change. Sweet, cooperative kids become argumentative, un-cooperative, withdrawn, angry, sullen, defiant, even abusive. Children who have always been difficult become absolutely impossible. They think you’re stupid and out of touch, and don’t understand, and they’re not at all reluctant to let you know that’s what they think. Their defiant behavior seems deliberate and provocative– as if they’re being that way just for the exercise.
To some degree, this is healthy, even necessary. It’s part of the natural process children go through in growing up and separating from their parents– but that doesn’t make it any easier, especially when it’s extreme.
Even when we know it may be coming, it can be incredibly difficult. It’s your home, they’re your rules, you’re still responsible for the acts of your son or daughter– yet he or she won’t follow your rules, starts doing drugs, cuts school, stays out all night, won’t talk except to be sarcastic, dismissive, and defiant. Too big to spank, too young to throw out of the house. What are you supposed to do?
Assuming that you’ve tried the the techniques and strategies recommended by the experts, such as:
- listening without judging
- counseling/therapy
- workshops
- tough love
- active parenting
- spending quality time
. . . maybe it’s time to consider a troubled teens boarding school.
Such schools can provide the structure that many teens seem to need. They are placed in situations that require cooperation. They learn and acquire a sense of responsibility, and they learn that acts have consequences. The idea is to meet the psychological and emotional
needs of the teen, while gradually transforming his or her self-image, leading him away from the self-destructive path he was on, and leading him or her towards a more productive, positive one.
An angry, defiant teenager often is completely transformed by the experience– not so much because the school knows some magic that we as parents don’t know, but because it has the strategies and skills we may lack, and the emotional distance to not get caught up in the negativity and conflict. In addition, of course, there is the 24 hour supervision, and being removed from the influences and people contributing to the problem.
There are a number of variants of the troubled teens boarding school. There are residential treatment centers with licensed physicians on staff, for more seriously mentally ill or troubled youngsters. There are secular, and faith-based institutions. There are “Wilderness Camps” and “Boot Camps” and military schools, and a number of others.
Choosing the proper school should be done carefully. The school should be evaluated in terms of its faculty and staff, its overall approach and emphasis, its curriculum and outside-the-classroom activities, your child’s particular needs, problems, and disabilities, if any, and so forth.
A school that might be perfect for the kid down the street might be all wrong for your teenager, so despite the frustration and craziness you’re experiencing, spend the time to check out a number of places. Ask for references. Check on accreditations and licenses. Ask questions. Visit & observe. Most of all, don’t give up hope. This might be the best thing you could possibly do, for yourself, your teen and the rest of your family.
You can learn a lot more about dealing with an angry teen at No Nonsense Parenting You’ll learn how to discipline without guilt, how to handle disrespect without yelling, how to stay sane, and how to bring peace back to your home.
